Review: Exciter

Label: Magnetic Air

Released: January 20, 2009

I didn't pay close attention to Exciter back in the 80s, but looking back, I've wondered why they weren't considered at least in that second tier of speedmetal bands with the likes of Overkill, Testament, etc. They were early adopters of that happy marriage between speed and heaviness...and yet they're so often forgotten. Why?

The answer can be found on their 1986 self-titled album (now re-issued again on Magnetic Air). After flirting with thrash success over the course of four albums, the band decided to change course a bit with Chuck Beehler focusing on drums and Rob Malnati taking over vocal duties. In addition to this personnel shake up, they also took much of the speed (and therefore the excitement) out of their music. Malnati at times fancies himself a cross between metal giants Bruce Dickinson and Rob Halford. He isn't as terrible a singer in his own right as he seems in comparison to these two, but his voice just can't carry the load he attempts to put upon it. To boot, the underlying music doesn't help the cause either. At its best, it's derivative Judas Priest pandering. At its worst, well...let's not even go there.

Exciter is now being issued for the fifth time (two of those on Megaforce as OTT), yet isn't essential listening for anyone. For those who missed Exciter the first time around, there are four albums that beg the question, "Why are they forgotten?" Unfortunately, this is the album that answers that question.

Ratings
Satriani: 4/10
Zappa: 5/10
Dylan: 3/10
Aretha: 3/10
Overall: 3/10

If you're curious about my rating categories, read the description.

Review: M83 - Saturdays = Youth

Label: Mute

Released: April 15, 2008

Saturdays = Youth is promising when it opens with "You, Appearing." The piano is as warm and embracing as a fireplace on a cold winter day, and it seems to be laying the groundwork for an incredibly rich album. When the vocals finally kick in, they're slightly urgent and desperate but pleasant and intriguing; they build on the promise that this is going to be a great listen.

Then the second track, "Kim & Jessie," starts, and it's like hearing an alternate-universe version of the Psychedelic Furs, one where Richard Butler couldn't write memorable songs.

Years ago, when I was an aspiring rock star, I had a fight with one of our producers. She said that every good pop song should still sound compelling if it was played on acoustic guitar. I told her that she was full of crap, and that Nine Inch Nails is a perfect example of a band that would sound awful if some twit picked up a guitar and sang one of their songs.

Johnny Cash proved me wrong on that one.

There's nothing on Saturdays = Youth that Johnny Cash could sing. The lyrics are bad poetry, and the melodies are completely forgettable. The only time the album works is when the band moves away from dull '80s pop, like they do on "Couleurs" and "Midnight Souls Still Remain." The rest of the time, it follows a recipe of 1/3 annoying Kate Bush (without the intelligence), 1/3 smarmy Martin Gore (without the pop sensibility), and 1/3 (enter overwrought '80s never-made-it pop band here, e.g. Dream Academy, All About Eve, Icicle Works). The end result is a stew of everything that was lame about '80s synth pop, without any of the elements that made it so charming the first time around.

Ratings
Satriani: 6/10
Zappa: 3/10
Dylan: 4/10
Aretha: 3/10
Overall: 4/10

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Review: Hot Chip - Made in the Dark

Label: Astralwerks

Released: February 4, 2008

Chuck and I tried this once before with Out_Circuit's Pierce the Empire with a Sound. It went well enough that we decided to take another shot at it with Hot Chip's latest, Made in the Dark. Things definitely had a better flow this time and I was surprised at how well we fed off of each other's thoughts. Anyway, without further ado, here's what we thought of the Hot Chip album:

taotechuck: You ready?

bob_vinyl: Sure.

taotechuck: I'm pressing play.

bob_vinyl: The drone is promising.

taotechuck: Yes, it is. Although it reminds of '80s arena rock. Like Aldo Nova or something. I'm waiting for a helicopter. Jee-zus. This sounds like the Knight Rider theme song.

bob_vinyl: Once the music kicks in, it's a letdown. The way the drone builds leads me to expect an explosion and I don't get that. This is like bad 80s pop filtered through hipster smugness. It doesn't do much for me.

taotechuck: I completely agree.

bob_vinyl: Some of the craziness in the background is kinda cool, but overall the song never takes off.

taotechuck: When I worked on my high school newspaper in Albuquerque, I did a monthly column where I interviewed local bands. One of the cover bands I interviewed was bragging about how they would look for the hippest new songs and play them before anyone else did. They mentioned "Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora. It wasn't until years later that I realized how awful the "cutting edge" music was that that rotten cover band was playing. This reminds me of a song that band would've covered.

bob_vinyl: "Shake a Fist" is like better 80s pop filtered through hipster smugness (and a bit of Beck).

taotechuck: "Sounds of the Studio?" Uh, more like, "Sounds of a self-important jackass."

bob_vinyl: Yeah, the whole "sounds of the studio" thing isn't clever, it's just annoying. It reminds me of the skits that popped up on hip-hop albums 15 or so years ago.

taotechuck: Besides, didn't Chemical Brothers make all these sounds like 10 years ago, and they weren't very cutting edge then?

bob_vinyl: True. Hot Chip certainly seems to be impressed with themselves and perhaps that confidence (or over-confidence) has helped them sell themselves. I don't mind being sold something, but I don't like to find out that I bought something empty when I get it home. This is a step up from "Out at the Pictures" though.

taotechuck: Wow. You're absolutely right. They do sound confident. They sound like they truly believe that they're making great music. Which is weird, because I feel like I just took a great dump.

taotechuck: You know, I hated bad Depeche Mode knockoffs in 1987. "Ready for the Floor" is like that, but 20 years too late.

bob_vinyl: "Ready for the Floor" feels a little more natural to me and I like it. It's not dark like Depeche Mode. This is less self-conscious than the previous tracks.

taotechuck: It's got more of a hook than the previous songs. It reminds me of "Everything Counts," which is not Depeche Mode's finest moment. Oh, dear God, "Bendable Poseable." Now we have Radiohead sandwiched with Depeche Mode, without the warmth or humanity of either band.

bob_vinyl: This doesn't have the warmth or humanity of a rock. Now it's back to being forced. Man, if this is their take on Radiohead, it's a pretty pathetic one. Oh, I hope they're not really trying to be Radiohead here.

taotechuck: It is forced. Do you hear what I mean, though? OK Computer era Radiohead?

bob_vinyl: Yeah, I hear it, I just hope they didn't intend it.

taotechuck: It's funny. On my first listen, I thought the production was pretty decent. The second time around, I find the production to be contrived and uninspired. Now we have the Pet Shop Boys with "We're Looking For A Lot Of Love." Great.

bob_vinyl: Any song with "love" in the title should have some kind of emotion or it's an insult to love itself. They might be "looking," but they aren't getting much love tonight, huh?

taotechuck: They could come in here with a crisp 20 dollar bill and they still wouldn't get my love.

bob_vinyl: I wonder what text book they used to learn this stuff.

taotechuck: You're right. It is very by-the-books. It's a lot like the hair metal bands who were trying to get big record deals by emulating Ratt and Dokken. But in this case, they're emulating Boards of Canada and Air and maybe Stereolab's suckiest moments. Hot Chip lacks nearly every element of great dance music. You mention love...the best dance music is all about love, and there is no love here. There was a word that was bandied about in the rave scene... plur. Peace Love Unity Respect. I don't hear any of that in Hot Chip.

bob_vinyl: This just seems like stuff they recorded to be hip and not because it lives in their heart. "Touch Too Much" is another of the decent tracks. Again, it feels more natural than the majority of what they have offered here. When I first put this on, winamp played this song first for some reason. It seemed promising. This is at least a little bit organic.

taotechuck: I suppose, but coming after five derivative and sub-par songs, it's hard for me to hear it with open ears. But... yeah, you're right. The percussion in the background, the harmonies... there is something to it.

bob_vinyl: Now they're doing Jackson Browne on "Made in the Dark." I actually like this one too. There's some emotion.

taotechuck: There's nothing wrong with doing different styles, but this is completely out of place with everything else. And it's not because it's good. But if you heard this on an album of good songs, would you like it? Hmmm... maybe.

bob_vinyl: You're right. If I liked the rest of the album, this would really throw me (in a bad way). I think this would be a good low-key break on a rock album.

taotechuck: The whole album reminds me of all the third-rate '80s bands who were riding the coattails of the handful of innovative bands of that era. It's possible that I hate Human League more than any other band, and this has all of the weaknesses of Human League. There's no depth to it.

bob_vinyl: Ooooh, it's the Fixx!

taotechuck: I thought the same thing! The Fixx!

taotechuck: Hey, now it's New Order, with a bit of Rusted Root thrown in.

bob_vinyl: New Order? You're generous. I was thinking BIlly Ocean. Actually, now the song got going, it's not bad, because the reggae undertones make it fun.

taotechuck: It's kind of fun, but it's still in a very derivative way. That's what's killing me about these guys: I don't hear a single thing that's original. There's nothing here that makes me say, "That's Hot Chip!" This has all the uniqueness of Alphaville, or Information Society, or Human League, or the aforementioned Baltimora.

bob_vinyl: I think that's because there's very little of themselves here. They seem to be more interested in being the next big thing than they do in being their own thing.

taotechuck: This sounds like the kind of band that would have hung out at Studio 54 instead of Paradise Garage or The Loft. These guys are all style and no substance. Unfortunately, their style isn't very interesting. I hate this. It doesn't deserve my mercy. Being as we're coming up on Good Friday and Easter, may I wax philosophical for a moment? This reminds me of the convenient Christianity that is preached at so many megachurches. It's all about feeling good, but there's very little capital-t Truth in it. I don't want church to make me feel good. I want church to challenge me. I want church to call me out on my BS. I want church to point out my failures in a way that inspires me to be a better person. I have no problem with a sermon that is fun or lighthearted or makes me feel good, but there has to be substance. And I feel the same way about music. This music has no substance. It is empty. It is spiritually devoid.

bob_vinyl: Right. You have to believe that the preacher means it.

taotechuck: Absolutely. I don't believe these guys. And that's sad, because the greatest dance music -- whether it's by Kraftwerk or Larry Levan or Kerri Chandler -- makes you believe what they're preaching.

bob_vinyl: I wonder if we'd feel differently if we hadn't lived through crap like this the first time? On "Hold On" they could have really bolstered it with with something that takes off the way "Don't Leave Me This Way" or "Give Your Body Up to the Music" takes off. This is so wooden.

taotechuck: When he sings "I learned all I know from wrestling," I believe him. Pro wrestling requires strength and skill, but it's ultimately fake. It's a show. Just like this.

bob_vinyl: "Wrestlers" at least isn't trying to inspire. It's lame, but its aspirations are lower so I can live with it more than "Hold On".

taotechuck: Hey, wanna make a bet? Five bucks says Pitchfork gave this at least a 7.6. I promise I haven't checked.

bob_vinyl: Okay, I'll take the under.

taotechuck: Dang. Pitchfork gave it a 7.0. "Good record but not a great one." I owe you five bucks.

bob_vinyl: "Don't Dance" might be renamed "Don't Dance Because This Isn't Worth Dancing To"...but that would end with a prepostition so I guess that's why they shortened it.

taotechuck: How about "Don't Dance Because This Isn't Worth Dancing To Because It Sucks"

bob_vinyl: Where were you when they were naming the songs?

taotechuck: Listening to something good.

bob_vinyl: "Whistle for Will" is another one that just sticks out like a sore thumb, but it's not as good as "Made in the Dark."

taotechuck: That's true. And it's not as if the vocals have anything particularly special. This is what Death Cab's "I Will Follow You into the Dark" would sound like if it weren't charming.

bob_vinyl: I like this last song. It's another one that doesn't fit and it's an odd choice to close the album with two oddball tracks. I really like the whoa-ohs in the backing vocals.

taotechuck: I agree. "In the Privacy of Our Love" is, hands down, the best song on the album. It's got a doo-wop feel to it. In a really odd way, it reminds me of some of Shudder to Think's stranger moments.

bob_vinyl: This crap at the end is just stupid. It was like, "Oh no, we have to have some kind of electronic crap at the very end."

taotechuck: Indeed. Wow. So I sat through 12 songs I hated to get to one song that was good, but I'll never play again.

bob_vinyl: If the whole album was this good, this conversation may have been a lot less fun.

taotechuck: Okay, here's my rating: Satriani: Suck/10; Zappa: Suck/10; Dylan...Okay, joke's old.

bob_vinyl: I think the album as a whole is one of the most self-conscious I've ever heard and that's fundamentally what killed it.
Satriani 6/10
Zappa 1/10
Dylan 4/10
Aretha 2/10
Overall 3/10

taotechuck:
Satriani: 6/10
Zappa: 2/10
Dylan: 3/10
Aretha: 1/10
Overall: 2/10

bob_vinyl: I had given it Aretha 1/10 too, but it got a full extra point for the last song.

taotechuck: I thought about doing that, but the pain and suffering I'm feeling wasn't alleviated by "Privacy."

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Review: Anarchy Club - A Single Drop of Red

Label: self-released CD Baby

Released: March 4, 2008

Okay, I'll admit White Zombie was kinda fun...for about ten minutes. I don't know that I could ever take them in album-length doses. When the first track of A Single Drop of Red was nothing short of an homage to White Zombie, it was already off on the wrong foot. Unfortunately, it never recovered. Their focus on 90s shock-rockers like Zombie, and to lesser extent Danzig and Marilyn Manson, doesn't really give them much to work with. After all, these bands used their horror shtick to draw focus away form their generally boring tunes. Anarchy Club skips the novelty of the slasher movie mentality, but that merely exposes the shortcomings of their songwriting. Their cover of Sweet's "No You Don't" robs the song of it's fun pop sense and further shows Anarchy Club's inability to tap into what made their influences tick. The remixes that make up the second half of the album are really just a third-rate stab at NIN's gift for melding hard rock and electronica that sadly errs on the side of hard rock. At their best, Anarchy Club are a thinly veiled White Zombie tribute. At their worst, they're a celebration of all that was terrible in 90s shock rock.

Ratings
Satriani: 5/10
Zappa: 2/10
Dylan: 2/10
Aretha: 2/10
Overall: 3/10

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If you're curious about my rating categories, read the description.

Review: Mountain - Masters of War

Label: Big Rack Records

Released: July 24, 2007

Recording a whole album of Dylan covers is about as bad an idea as getting Ozzy to be a guest vocalist on your album. Leslie West makes both mistakes on Mountain's latest album, Masters of War.

The problem with this album is that West's arrangements are dull, with little hint of Dylan or the Leslie West that played Woodstock. His intent is clearly to show how Dylan's music crosses both time (which it doesn't need West to prove) and genre (which West fails to prove). Capturing Dylan's spirit and therefore successfully covering his music requires taking some chances on innovations. With two exceptions, Mountain never strays from straightforward and safe hard rock, which doesn't have much to do with Dylan. They do try something new on "Like a Rolling Stone," turning it into a percussive affair with only drums and spoken vocals. Unfortunately, other than showcasing some interesting drum work, it fails. The acoustic cover of "Blowin' in the Wind," not to be confused with the numbingly dull electric version, may not innovate, but at least has some nice guitar work and passionate bluesy vocals so it succeeds on some level.

The effort to show Dylan's music as relevant today may show that West's heart is in the right place, but it also shows his own delusions, because he would have to be relevant himself to prove this and he's not. Still, it's better than Bryan Ferry's effort earlier in the year, if only slightly.

Rating: 3/10

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Review: Dan Wilson - Free Life

Label: American Recordings

Released: October 16, 2007

If you enjoyed Dan Wilson's band, Semisonic, than you'll enjoy his solo work as well. You'll also have to explain to all your friends why you like music that sucks, but that's beside the point. If you had the good sense to hate Semisonic than you'll likely hate this also...mostly.

Dan Wilson takes more of a folk rock approach on this album with only some alt rock leanings. Of course, I should be hesitant to use the word rock at all in this case, because it's something Wilson really fails to do. There's nothing wrong with the playing on this album and Wilson clearly has a good voice. The production is a bit thin in places, but stays crisp. The album is entirely listenable, but also entirely unenriching. Really, there are a few songs on this album that actually approach being good in places where the music sounds more organic and Wilson keeps his voice out of the upper registers. While a good soul singer can hit the high notes and energize the song, Wilson's voice has the opposite effect, deflating any energy the song may have built.

In a sense, Dan Wilson is like an alt rock James Taylor. There are hints that he's got some talent, yet his complete inability to fulfill his own promise makes the album fall even flatter than if it had no promise at all. If you like Semisonic, you might give this album 8/10, but I'd give you 1/10, so your opinion doesn't matter.

Rating: 3/10

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By the way, I have an extra promo copy of this CD. It's free to the first person who can make a compelling argument for why Rick Rubin touched this with a ten foot pole (he's executive producer). You can leave your answer in the comments, but be sure to contact me here as well so I know how to get in touch with you if you win.

Review: Verona Grove - The Story Thought Over

Label: PRC/Universal

Released: August 21, 2007

In 1999, A New Found Glory released Nothing Gold Can Stay, a sappy pop punk album that made me feel the pain of being 17 again. Sure, some of the lyrics were over-dramatic and the vocals were whiny, but the album connected with me even though it was written for kids ten or so years my junior. The point is, A New Found Glory could get away with writing overly sensitive, immature love songs, because they were really good at it, the emo market wasn't completely flooded and they tapped into something universal. By the time they released their major label debut three years later, they were as stale as the genre.

What does this have to with Verona Grove you might ask? Everything. If pop punk drama queens were done in 2002, what makes Verona Grove think the genre is going anywhere in 2007? The Story Thought Over might as well be the latest A New Found Glory album. They don't just have similar musical DNA, they're a clone, made up of the same Crybaby Sally vocals, the same catchy hooks and crunchy (but not too crunchy) sound. True, there are couple places where they try other things, none of them original. They do a few piano ballads and "I Haven't Got Much (But I'm Getting Somewhere)" actually steals a bit from the generic hard rock of the late 80s as if that needed to be revisited. I had enough of new wave the first time and the revival certainly gives me more than my fill. I definitely didn't need Verona Grove to give it a shot on "Goodbye Surrender." They try their hand at a power ballad with "Revolution" and have the audacity to sing, "holding out for a revolution." Maybe they should count the number of revolutions started by power ballads. Yeah, that would be zero. So, the few times they stray from aping their principle influence, they choose to play at things long played out.

Verona Grove apparently wrote much of the album while they were transplanted from Oshkosh, WI to LA, given an apartment and expected to churn out a big seller. On "Smalltown Celebrity," they sing, "Teenage rockstar, / Only 30 years old. / Where the hell did high school go? / Welcome to the rock show." From another band, I might actually like those lyrics, but not from this band and not under these circumstances. Their mentors made me 17 again when I was 28, because they tapped into something universal. Verona Grove has had an extraordinary year that found them going from the small town to the big city. Instead of tapping into some universal discomfort, they've told a story to which no one can relate but them and they've told it in a medium that is long past its prime. If you like pop punk and emo, skip The Story Thought Over and pull Nothing Gold Can Stay back off the shelf.

Rating: 3/10

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Review: Landonband - Defying the Stereotype

Label: self-released (available at CD Baby

Released: 2006

Defying the Stereotype is a bit of a misnomer for this album. Perhaps Confused About the Stereotype or Lost in the Stereotype would be more appropriate. It's certainly not "stereotype" that I object to, but "defying," because this record defies nothing.

From the opening track, Landonband spends their time genre-hopping. True, there has been some great albums that have done the same, but every one of those albums found its own voice as it explored a broad musical palette. Landonband's voice is smothered to the point that it's questionable if they even have one.

"Only 20" sounds like a hard rock Spice Girls. They try to capture the funk rock of the Red Hot Chili Peppers on "Hush," but its groove is derailed by the stiff performance. "Angry" is an average alt rock song, except it's about 10 or so years too late. "Coming Out in the Wash" tries to mix in a bit of punk edge, but the result is stifled rather than wild. "Amazon" might have come off alright had it not devolved into a generic ballad. "Dirty Virgin" tries to break out and sound loose, but the problem is that it tries too hard. After the cliched intro to "Free at Last," none of its references to cloves, burned CDs or Sonic Youth should be a surprise. (I do have to wonder if they've actually listened to Sonic Youth though. If they did, they certainly didn't get it.) Speaking of cliches, was that actually a J Lo reference in "Wind-Up Monkey?" That was as painfully unoriginal as anything on the album.

A couple songs aren't total disasters: "The First to Come in Last" let's the facade of over-production down just enough to get a glimpse of Landon Dunning's potential as a vocalist. Likewise, "Ms. Jones" is loose enough to have a genuine edge, even if it isn't a particularly interesting song.

This album has a few fatal flaws. First, the production is overwrought. Rather than enhancing the band's sound and helping them find themselves, it buries them in digital effects. Twenty years ago, there was an excuse to get caught up in this kind of production, but now it just sounds cheap.

Second, the band has no synergy. Landon's a pretty good rock singer, but she almost never cuts loose. She has a good voice and she should trust it. The band itself is as entirely competent as it is soulless. They sound like they're playing everything from sheet music. If they want to be a good band rather than just a collection of good players, they need to drop all of the electronics and learn to feed off of each other. If they strip away all of the nonsense, they may be able to play together rather than simply playing at the same time. A looser band would likely allow Landon more latitude to really use her voice. As it stands, the band is entirely competent to play and entirely incompetent to rock.

Last, the songs are mediocre at best. With this repertoire, they'll be relegated to being a very good bar band at best. Part of the problem is that Landon wrote the songs with the producer rather than the band. The other part is that these songs were designed to fit the stereotype rather than defy it.

All in all, Defying the Stereotype is a waste of time, but Landonband, or actually Landon Dunning herself, has some potential. The band as it is sounds like a group of studio musicians. Either they have to become more cohesive or Landon needs to find a band that can help her unleash her voice. She definitely needs some songwriting help, but next time it should come from someone who will push her creatively rather than trying to pigeonhole her songs for target audiences. The key to Landonband is Landon herself, but she won't really go anywhere under these circumstances. The album title is either a lie or a misconception. If it's the former, than the band needs to come clean. If it's the latter, there's little hope.

Rating: 3/10